My First Blog Award!

Today I got an email from my sweet new friend, Lauren. She's passed an award on to me called the Angel Mommy Blog Award. Thank you, Lauren, and thank you to Nikki at I'll Fly Away for creating this award.












Of course, I wouldn't be getting this award if it wasn't for Noah Joel and the impact he's had on me and others who know what it's like to lose a baby.

Thank you to all of my bloggy friends who have encouraged me and supported me over the last several months. Getting to know you and pray for you has changed me.

Today, I want to pass this award onto three of my friends, Melanie, Sara and Jessica. You all are such encouraging women in my life. I'm so sorry you all have had to go through such heartache.

May God Bless you in everything you do!
Amanda

A Look Back at Caitlin's Past Halloween's (2004-2007)

Our 2008 Jack-O-Lantern

Chris and Caitlin got busy carving our pumpkin tonight. They chose the skull and cross bones from the stencil set that came with the Walmart carving set I got.

I think they did a great job!

A Caitlin Cutism that came out of tonight was, "Yummmo, I love that pumpkin smell...I just want to eat it up right now!!"

News on Stellan and A Picture!!!!

Please keep praying for Stellan. He has some "tiny issues" and will be "in the special care nursery (not the NICU!!)" for 24 hours and will be monitored closely.

He is a beautiful baby - a true Miracle of God!

Here's one of the pictures:











Go leave MckMama a comment on her blog to let her know you're thinking of them.

Love,
Amanda

Stellan is HERE!!!!!!

I'm at work and have been wanting to post this for a few hours now: STELLAN IS HERE!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Go read the post that announces Stellan's arrival here.

Stellan is truly a MIRACLE - the NICU has yet to find anything wrong with him!

Rejoicing in Him,
Amanda

Stellan
entered the world this sunny fall morning
at 10:19 am, CST
weighing 6 pounds, 10 ounces
and measuring 19 inches long

Stellan's Coming!!!!!!

The big day is almost here! Tomorrow, October 29, 2008, please join me in prayer for Stellan, MckMama, her family and the doctors and nurses as Stellan is born (9:30 am CST).

There is a prayer vigil starting tonight at 10pm CST. If you want to take part in it, please click here.

Thank you!
Amanda

Our Pretty Girl

Caitlin LOVES church these days and she was ready for me to get her dolled up this morning - and wanted me to take a picture of her prettiness (is that a word??)!

Here's Our Pretty Sunday Girl:
















Also, she is SUPER EXCITED about Halloween this year. Her school is having a Fall Festival all day on Friday and she can wear her costume. Of course, she wore most of her costume for most of the weekend and threw a fit when I told her that she can't have the makeup on at school (I will never be able to get her ready in the entire costume at 6am on Friday morning - it takes me 10 minutes just to wake her up each day!)

She's decided to be a witch...interesting choice, but that's what she wants, so...

Here's a sneak peek at Caitlin the (Pretty) Witch:

Look Alike??

I can't tell you how many people have stopped us on the street, in restaurants, in stores, on vacation and at school to tell us that Caitlin looks like Dakota Fanning (the child actress from some well known movies like "I am Sam," "War of the Worlds," "Uptown Girls" and many others).

Since I had never once stopped to look at pictures of Dakota Fanning online, I took a moment (or many moments) to do so. I found a good website with lots of pics of her.

Many people also tell us that Caitlin looks just like me.

So, I finally did the comparison by trying out the "Look Alike Meter" at www.myheritage.com and this is what came out:

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Genealogy software - Free genealogy

Very interesting. Only a 5% lead, Miss Dakota!! Well, I'm still her mommy and I still believe she looks like herself, but we'll take the compliments any day :)

Thank You

I have to tell you how thankful I am for all of your thoughts, prayers, emails, comments, e-cards, housecalls (with chocolate), cards, lunch (with my hubby), phone calls, voicemails, and paintings (from Cait) yesterday.

I tried to keep busy all day; all the while remembering.
I felt sad but was not "depressed."
Above all, I felt loved.

Thank you for your friendship, love and support.

Love,
Amanda

Here is one of Caitlin's paintings. She made it after I picked her up from school and she asked why I stayed home from work. I had to tell her. She told me she was sorry and she painted this beautiful picture. Each colored line stands for each "month" (translated as weeks) Noah was alive. He was alive for 9.5 weeks and she drew 10 lines. How did she know that? I've never told her how long he was alive...wow

10.24.08

The first time this date became important to me was on February 18, 2008. The day my pregnancy with Noah Joel was confirmed at the doctor’s.

The second time this date was confirmed – as Noah Joel’s due date – was on March 3, 2008 – first ultrasound day. His heart rate was 116 bpm – a “great heart rate for 6 weeks!”

The second time this date was confirmed – as Noah Joel’s due date – was on March 11, 2008 – second ultrasound day. Daddy and Cait were with me for this – his heart rate was 126 bpm – a “perfect heart rate for 7 weeks!”

October has always (secretly) been a month we’d hoped to have a child. Why not cram in a bunch of important dates into one month??
October 7 – Our Wedding Anniversary.
October 8 – Chris’s Birthday.
October 10 – Joy The Dog’s Birthday.

Now October 24, 2008 – An important date to add to the calendar – to Remember our Angel.

Today, 212 days after his heart stopped beating in my womb, I remember our Angel. I wish I was in labor now. I wish I could announce his birth by phone, email and blog. I wish things had turned out differently. But our plan to have Noah Joel on October 24, 2008 was not in God’s plan.

As I sit here today, remembering, I am sad. The tears have not come yet – I think that I ran out of them. A few weeks after Noah’s heaven day (March 26th), my mom gave me a necklace – I wear it everyday. It, along with my tattoo, are constant reminders to me that I’m a mommy to an Angel who is with Jesus today.

The necklace came with a poem on a pretty piece of paper. The poem says:

We never heard your first tiny cry,
never wiped the teardrops from your eyes.
And though our hearts grieve, and we are bereft
we carry your teardrops, they are all we have left...
We carry them with us, tucked next to our heart
your memory with us always, we are never apart.

I’ve got today off. I knew the day would be rough and I really didn’t want to be at work to experience it. I’m not sure what I’ll do today, but I’ll be sure to Remember.

Mommy loves you, Noah!

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Psalm 34:17-18 "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all of their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

The Cutest Halloween Costume Ever!

I had to share this picture that I found today.

This is the cutest idea for a costume (dog or otherwise)!

Enjoy!

Rewind Tuesday

I can't help but think back on the past (almost) 4.5 years and how much Caitlin has grown up!

Here are two pictures taken almost exactly 4 years ago of our little princess:

My Beautiful Blue Eyed Girl

Happy Monday to all!

I always change the picture on my desktop at work each Monday. This week I picked this picture.

Caitlin's blue eyes are too beautiful not to stare into all day long!!!

I know I posted this pic already, but I had to share it again :)


















Have a good one!

I Think I May Be Married to MacGyver

We went on a bike ride today (Cait stayed with MeMe and Grandpa) and we got on our way (we thought we'd go to Navasota and Brenham and then head home). We were about 35 miles from home when Chris pulled over. The clutch pedal had fallen off. Ok, I' ve never driven a standard car in my life and certainly have never driven the motorcycle, but I think I understand correctly when I say, the thing is not going to work if you can't shift gears (work the clutch)!! I was immediately rattling off some things we could do (call the roadside assistance people, call my mom to come get us, etc... = Freaking Out) and he calmly walked to the nearest tree off the side of the road, whipped out his knife and started whittling down the piece of branch that he'd broken off so that it would fit inside the clutch piece that held the pedal before. He MADE a pedal out of wood??!! (only MacGyver would do that). AND, it got us home - no problem.

I love you, Chris (and God), for getting us home safely!!!!

Here's a couple pics (I just had to document this!!) I took after we got home:

Caitlin's New Dresser

Missy recently got a new dresser so Big Mamma called me this week to see if we wanted to buy Missy's old one. I looked at it on Thursday night and Mr. Manuel helped me bring it home last night. I had to do some organizing of the "toy shop" that lives in Cait's room first, but then I was able to move it into her room. I love it! It's in great shape and looks beautiful. Thank you to Missy, Big Mamma and Mr. Manuel for the dresser and for helping bring it over!

Happy Birthday, Big Mamma

We hope you had a wonderful day!
We're glad we could come over and give you your gift and your hug tonight!


Love always,
The Hoyt Family (and especially Miss Caitlin!)

Caitlin's Princess Tea Professional Picture (August 2008)

Remember this post? There are more pics that I took if you go to the archives for August...

Well, I got the professional photo back from Karen McConaughey and Caitlin Love is GORGEOUS!

See my little princess here:

Keep in mind the picture is scanned and this is the best I could get it :) It's so much more beautiful in person (it's on my desk at work now).

October 15: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

**UPDATED***

Tonight we lit candles for our baby and our friends' babies - in loving rememberance.

Caitlin wanted to pray about Noah and we did. We also prayed that God would give us a baby that we can love here on earth sometime soon.

We love you, Noah Joel - always.
























Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Please pray for those who have lost their babies.

In loving memory of Noah Joel Hoyt; March 26, 2008.

If you have lost a baby and would like to honor their memory here, please post a comment. I would love to pray for you.

Love,
Amanda

Prayers Needed

Please continue to pray for MckMama who was admitted to the hospital today. You can read more here, but please remember that Stellan is not to be born for another 16 days. He is doing well, but MckMama is not feeling well.

Thanks!
Amanda

Walk to Remember Noah Joel 2008

Today there was a Walk To Remember all babies lost (whether it be by miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death). It was put on by MEND at our Church.

I decided to go with my Mom and my Caitlin. I just knew it would be too emotional for any other loved ones to join. I needed this ceremony. It was and is the only one we've had for Noah.

We signed in, got bracelets and T-Shirts, picked up our personalized Christmas Tree ornament, put our remembrance frame on the remembrance table, ate some refreshments with others who've lost babies, and then began our walk around the church to remember...

There was a nice outdoor ceremony with the introduction given by a fellow mommy who's lost a baby, a guest speaker who is a family counselor, music played and then each baby who was lost and represented there today, their name was read aloud. When our baby's name was read, we were to get up and place our ornament on one of the 6 crape myrtle trees in the front of the church where the "stage" was.

We had to wait a while for Noah Joel Hoyt's name to be read aloud. This touched me to the core. There were TOOOOOOO MANNNNNNNY babies who have died!!! It's just so sad. On one hand it's nice to know that I'm not alone but I cannot believe how many of me that there are out there!

Once his name was spoken, it was hard for me to stand up. Once I did, we all walked over to the tree and put up the ornament.

Then all the kids in attendance gathered at the front to sing "Jesus Loves Me." Caitlin went up readily.

After that, we all gathered in the parking lot for our balloons to be released in memory of our babies. Each family member got a balloon for each baby lost in the family. Sometimes there were more than 2 or 3 babies per family lost!!

I took pictures during most of the day. I'll post them here. Please say a prayer for all of these families. They all need our love and support whether it's been a month since they lost their child or 47 years (there was one lady who lost her baby in 1961).

Thank you all for your love and support.

Love,
Amanda