The thoughts are haunting. Heartbreaking. Wondering if his labor would have been as short and easy as Caitlin's and Madison's. Only four hours with 15-20 minutes of pushing. Knowing that our lives would have been changed by adding another babe to the household. And now knowing that it was never meant to be. Painful. Tears. I have so little tangible evidence that another life was ever truly part of ours. What I would give to have had more time.
Today, five years ago, I would have expected to be in the hospital holding a newborn.
Today, I remember the tiny life that DID live within me.
Thankful for my Father who is holding the son I wish I was holding today. Praying my love is strong enough to reach Heaven and whisper "I love you" to my tiniest child.
~remembering Noah Joel Hoyt~
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