25 Things About Me

I was tagged by my friend Heather to answer a "note" on FaceBook today. I was supposed to type out 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about myself...

I thought I'd share my answers on the blog too :)

If you read this post, maybe you'd like to do the same on your blog...Enjoy!

Love,
Amanda

1. When Chris and I talked about having kids, I said I wanted to have 3. I guess I got my wish :) I have 2 on earth and one in heaven.
2. I pray everyday when I wake up to be a better wife and a better mom than the day before.
3. I work with the Treasurer of my company. We are the only two in my group and he is the best boss ever! We deal with million dollar transactions, international business, the banking relationships, debt, investments and corporate insurance. (oh, and whatever else is thrown our way!) LOL
4. We own our home but would LOVE to move out of it! It’s just too small for our family of 4 humans, one cat and one dog.
5. My favorite food of all time is SUSHI!
6. I have been to Germany 4 times. On those trips, we visited and vacationed in Greece, Spain, Switzerland, France and The Netherlands.
7. My husband is 13 years older than me, but it is not an issue for me. I love him so much!!
8. I was an only child until I gained a step-brother when I was 8, a half brother when I was 13 and a half sister when I was 15!
9. I love to listen to Christian radio / worship songs.
10. We have been vacationing as a family in Galveston since Caitlin was 2 years old. We rent a beach house and have a fun week together as a family (which includes my mother in law and brother in law).
11. I am a very loyal person.
12. Whenever I can, I try to “Pay it Forward.” For example, I give all of our children’s clothes to friends who have children younger than ours. We were blessed by having the clothes in the first place and I want others to be blessed by a “free” wardrobe when kids’ clothes are expensive enough!
13. I have a maroon Toyota FJ Cruiser that I love. People always laugh at the 3 windshield wipers :) LOL
14. My husband and I used to have an Abyssinian cat. Maggie was a great cat and we miss her a lot. She passed away a few years after Chris and I were married. We would love to get another Abyssinian someday. They are cuddly and love kids!
15. I would watch a lot of TV if I had more free time.
16. After my miscarriage in 2008, I feel like the Lord called me to pray more. Now I pray more for others and try to spread the word that prayer works - and have been blessed in doing so.
17. When I was younger, I wanted to be an Interior Decorator.
18. I have a very nice camera (Canon Rebel), but just don’t have the time to pursue any more photography endeavors than taking pictures of my family. I would like to, in the future, learn how to use my camera to its fullest extent though.
19. If we win the lottery, I would love to own a ranch that has a log cabin and horses on it.
20. I have a Bachelor of Business Administration in Finance from the University of Houston (main campus).
21. It took me 5 ½ years to complete my degree because I changed majors changed majors twice and got married during college.
22. My parents divorced when I was 6.
23. My firstborn (Caitlin) did not like to cuddle as a baby. My baby (Madison) likes to cuddle A LOT!!!
24. I love to blog, but recently have just not had the time…I wonder why!??!? (see number 23). :) LOL
25. Both Caitlin and Madison are miracle babies. Caitlin was surrounded by an amniotic band during her time in my womb and we had to be monitored frequently by a perinatologist. Madison’s pregnancy was unstable and I had health conditions during pregnancy. We are so thankful that we were chosen to be our kids’ parents!

Abiding Hope Collages (July 19, 2010)

Franchesca is an amazing mom to an angel in Heaven from Texas. She has been changed since May 5, 2009 when her firstborn, Jenna Belle, entered her life. Franchesca and her husband were honored to be her earthly parents for 13 days. After losing Jenna Belle, Franchesca decided to give back in memory of her sweet daughter, to other families enduring loss - whether it be by miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death. She makes beautiful collages through her site Abiding Hope Collages.

When I came across her site and read her story, I was touched by her generosity through her grief. I decided to ask her to make a collage in memory of our tiny angel baby...Thank you, Franchesca. It is just beautiful.

http://www.hopecollage.org/2010/07/noah-joel.html

July 21, 2010 - It's been 9 years...

It’s been 9 years since our kids lost their grandpa. The one they never got to even meet.

Chris’s dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in June of 2000. By the grace of God he was able to participate (and was even Chris’s best man) in our wedding on October 7, 2000. By July of 2001, H.B. Hoyt did not look like the man we knew before. His body had been taken by cancer and we all would never be the same again. Watching H.B. battle his disease and then seeing him go through the end stages of life was one of the hardest things Chris and I have ever been through together. He loved his dad and wanted to continue his relationship with him - and to give him grandchildren.

Sometimes we talk about H.B. looking down on our family and loving us from afar. We know he would have been an awesome grandpa and so wish he could have held our babies in the flesh.

Caitlin knows who her Grandpa H.B. is and will let her sissy know as she gets older who he is also.

We will always remember you, H.B.

~In loving memory of Harold Boyd Hoyt~

January 9, 1939 to July 21, 2001

Still Life 365 (July 11, 2010)

I stumbled upon this website recently called http://stilllife365.blogspot.com/ and was facsinated and thankful for the site that editor Angie has put together for families who are grieving the loss of their babies (whether thru miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death). It is a place where art can be posted (every day) as family members "explore their grief through creativity." As Angie says on the blog, "each piece is an expression of grief, survival, sadness, love and hope. still life 365 is intended to be a safe space for creative expression. still life 365 is open to anyone affected by pregnancy loss not simply parents."

The editor of still life 365, Angie, created the blog after her second daughter (Lucia Paz) was stillborn at 38 weeks on winter solstice 2008. Angie says, "still life 365 is a project conceived out of the sincere desire to create a safe creative space for grieving parents and family members to explore the different aspects of life after loss. my hope is to post a piece of art or writing every day this year. sharing my art and creations with other babylost mamas, and conversely seeing their art, helped to explore the different elements of my grief and journey."

Upon viewing the blog for the first time, my heart wandered, remembering Noah (as I do each and everyday)...and I immediately remembered the painting that Caitlin did for me on Noah's EDD (estimated due date) - October 24, 2008. I decided to send it to Angie and she posted it here on July 11, 2010.

I have a few other pieces that I might decide to have her post but for now, I am going each day to check on and visit other's pieces. Sometimes, if time, I click over to their blogs and see how they are doing...there are so many hurting out there...so many who have lost babies...

My heart aches for those who are in this club we were never initiated for and never wanted an invitation for. We arrived and are here to stay. I thank the good Lord for the hope He gives each one of us as each new day brings great things that only He can give.

Lamentations 3:22-24 (New International Version)

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

Love you all,
Amanda

Happy 4th!

I'm so proud to be an American! Are you? Happy Independence Day!



My heart hurts 4 those whose loved ones are off serving overseas. They are all sacrificing 4 our freedom. God bless all military families. I have two friends whose husbands were just sent overseas. Melanie & Janine, the lump in my throat comes often as I think of the times you will spend alone with your families during the next year without your husbands. May the Lord bless you and keep you during Ralph's & Mel's deployment.

Friends, if you haven't done so, take a moment today to thank the Lord for our freedom. As we know, it doesn't come free.

Hope you are all doing well.

Love,
Amanda & Family

Happy Father's Day (on the blog) to the best Daddy Ever!

Chris,

You have been a wonderful daddy since the minute I found out I was pregnant with Caitlin. Nothing has changed over the years as we added to our family. You are always protective and loving. Always positive and affectionate. No tear has gone unnoticed and no tiny little red bump unkissed. You are the best daddy our girls could ask for - I can only imagine your relationship with them in the future. Not only will they come to you for advice and to talk your ear off but will feel comfortable just resting in your arms after a bad day. They know they can talk to you and feel better but they also will know that silence speaks a thousand words. Your loving arms are sometimes all they will need.

For all you give to our girls - I love you!

Happy Father's Day (on the blog) to you, Chris!

Love,
Amanda

P.S. After the weekend we had (your wasp sting, our broken A/C, your millions of fire ant bites and our broken dryer), I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anyone else! I love you forever and always :)

Some thoughts on Infertility, Infant Loss, and a prayer and a song for the soul...

This morning as I was listening (over and over) to a new favorite song of mine, I was led to share this with you.

Although we’ve never been diagnosed as “infertile,” if you look up the definition of it, we have experienced infertility. Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to conceive. As I’ve stated before here, it took us 18 months to conceive Caitlin who was born in 2004 and 13 months to conceive the baby we lost to miscarriage in 2008 (named Noah). I feel blessed to have only have taken 6 months after losing Noah to conceive Madison. Although we never had to use fertility drugs or treatments, going through the discouraging waiting month after month and then the loss of a child and all the heartbreaking emotions that come from that experience, I know that we have been touched by this disease. Many of my friends are infertile and/or have experienced infertility. I have watched many go through the same hardships we have and most have come out with a baby to love here on earth, but there are some who are still waiting for their day to become mommies.

Recently, I was reintroduced to a band that long ago was a favorite to me and many others. Although some stopped listening to them due to political reasons, I stopped because I was becoming a new mom and just didn’t have time to devote to “me stuff” anymore.

The song “So Hard” by the Dixie Chicks explains perfectly what we as women go through when we experience infertility. I wonder if RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association has a “theme song” because these lyrics fit perfectly with what we all feel as we wait and hope that we can someday or again (after a loss or a long period of trying) become moms…

"So Hard"

Back when we started
We didn't know how hard it was
Living on nothing
But what the wind would bring to us
Now we've got something
I can imagine fighting for
So why is fighting all that we're good at anymore

And sometimes I don't have the energy
To prove everybody wrong
And I try my best to be strong
But you know it's so hard
It's so hard

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard

It felt like a given
Something a woman's born to do
A natural ambition
To see a reflection of me and you

And I'd feel so guilty
If that was a gift I couldn't give
And could you be happy
If life wasn't how we pictured it

And sometimes I just want to wait it out
To prove everybody wrong
And I need your help to move on
Cause you know it's so hard
It's so hard

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
So hard

I can live for the moment
When all these clouds open up for me to see
And show me a vision
Of you and me swimming peacefully

Last night you told me
That you can't remember
How to feel free

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy, easy



In closing, I just want to offer up a prayer to the Lord for those still experiencing heartbreak due to a loss or hardship due to infertility.

Dear Lord, please be near to the broken hearted. Please comfort those who feel alone, guilty, lost, fearful, and hurt. Give peace and understanding to us, Lord, when all we can think of is why or when or how. Please love us, Lord, and touch our lives in a way that we feel your love each and everyday because we know that you are our Father and will protect us and love us all the days of our lives. Amen



Helpful Links:

The National Infertility Association: http://resolve.org/

Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death: http://home.mend.org/

Lost & Found and Connections Abound: http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.com/

WebMD: Infertility & Reproduction Health Center: http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/default.htm

Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Directory: http://babylossdirectory.blogspot.com/

Shared Journey: Your Path to Fertility: http://www.sharedjourney.com/index.html

Story from ABC News where the Dixie Chicks discuss Motherhood (May 24, 2006): http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/SummerConcert/story?id=1998321&page=1

Please be careful...

A while back I posted about a fundraiser for Lauren & Lillian from a company called L.R. Beary Fundraising. Well, come to find out, that was a scam. So far, by the grace of God, WE have not been scammed, but Shanna Marsh (via The Layla Grace Children's Cancer Research Foundation), mommy to Layla Grace who passed away from Neuroblastoma on March 9, 2010, is currently being scammed by the woman who is portraying herself as the owner of the bears AND the VP of The Layla Grace Foundation while she actually is not. If you are on FaceBook and are not currently a "fan" of The Layla Grace Children's Cancer Research Foundation, you can be and can keep up with the news and events (not only surrounding this mess) but how you can help the Foundation now or in the future.

I wanted you to know that not only am I very sorry that I promoted this fundraiser, but I hope that no one bought any bears. Lauren never received any funds from this fundraiser so we are not sure if that is because no one bought bears or because of the scam. Also, I wanted you to pray for The Marsh Family as they still grieve their young daughter's death and have to deal with this scam artist.

Neuroblastoma is one of the few cancer types known to secrete hormones. It occurs most often in children, and it is the third most common cancer that occurs in children. Approximately 7.5% of the childhood cancers diagnosed in 2001 were neuroblastomas, affecting one in 80,000 to 100,000 children in the United States. Close to 50% of cases of neuroblastoma occur in children younger than two years old. The disease is sometimes present at birth, but is usually not noticed until later. By the time the disease is diagnosed, it has often spread to the lymph nodes, liver, lungs, bones, or bone marrow. Approximately one-third of neuroblastomas start in the adrenal glands.

If you are in the Cy-Fair area near Houston, TX this Sunday, The Layla Grace Children's Cancer Research Foundation is having its first big fundraising event. Help make a difference in a child's life.

Thank you!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you enjoying your kiddoes today!

To all the Mommies who have lost children - my heart cries with you today. May you know that the little reminders you have today of your baby(ies) are them telling you they love you from Heaven.

To all those who are patiently waiting your turn to become a Mommy - my heart empathizes with you. I know the waiting can be agonizing, but the Lord has not forgotten your longing desire to hold your miracle baby.

Love you all.

Update on Lauren & Lillian Plus a FUNDRAISER for the Mom & Baby (at Missy Prissy's Boutique) Through the Month of May

In case you have not read recently on Lauren's blog, Baby Lillian has been doing very well! Despite the MANY odds stacked against this beautiful miracle child, she was going to go home to be with her momma in her own environment (as opposed to laying in a NICU bed for another however many weeks!) TOMORROW, Thursday, May 6, 2010 - Momma Lauren's 24th Birthday!! But, the crushing news is that after having home health care and other specialists bring machines and supplies to her parents' home this week, Lauren was told just this morning that Lillian's blood pressure is not stable enough and the wrong machine was delivered to the house - so Lillian is NOT going home tomorrow after all.

Lauren is sad. Very sad. She wanted her little nugget to be at home with her - finally - after all they've been through these past 6 weeks, she wanted to take her precious newborn baby home with her. Can I please ask you to pray for my new friend? I know her heart is broken and mine cries out for her. The pain she must be feeling knowing that she was SOOO close to having her baby at home with her. The drive to and from the hospital is an hour (or more with traffic - one way) and she thought that IT would happen ON her birthday. She got her hopes up and now it's NOT happening. I know she wants what's medically best for Lillian, but she also wants to bond with her baby. I don't think I could deal with it - so many other stressors are going on also - child support issues, school issues, her own economic and academic futures are up in the air and she doesn't know why her baby's blood pressure can't stabilize itself (on or off meds). It's just alot to handle for anyone much less a 24 year old! Anyway, I think I'm rambling, but my heartstrings are being pulled for Lauren & Lillian. Please pray.

If you find it in your heart to do more than pray, please make your way over to Missy Prissy's Boutique.

Lauren's good friend Tara Dornak Gates (known as Aunt Tara to Baby Lillian!) and owner of Missy Prissy's Boutique has announced the start of a fundraiser over at Missy Prissy Boutique that will go on through the month of May! 50% of all profits made will be donated to Lauren & Lillian. Please stop by and take a look at all the gorgeous things talented Tara can make for your children (Hair Bows, Headbands, Tutus/Pettiskirts, Custom Clothing, Car Seat Canopy Covers, Pacifier Holders, Rhinestone Avent Pacifiers, Burp Cloths, Custom Embroidery, AND MUCH MORE!!!!!!)

Thank you for your love and support of LouLou and Lilli Bug!!

P.S. If you're reading this and want to do something to cheer up Lauren TOMORROW (Thursday, May 6th), please send her a quick email (or e-card) to laurenandlillian@gmail.com wishing her a happy 24th birthday! That would be so awesome if she received a bunch of cards and/or emails, wouldn't it??!! Thanks, Friends! Love ya!!

NEW FUNDRAISER for Lauren & Lillian at TAKE A BOW BOWTIQUE (Etsy Store)

There is another fundraiser going on right now (through Sunday) for my friends Lauren & Baby Lillian!

Please stop on over at Ambreen's Etsy Store Take A Bow Bowtique during the next 5 days (ends Sunday, April 25) and buy your daughters, granddaughters, sisters, friends, neighbors, cousins or 2nd cousin's some beautiful bows, headbands, hair clips, flip flops, beanies or dresses!!

Ambreen is not only very talented but she is so very giving! Just a few days ago she had a fundraiser for the Layla Grace Children's Cancer Research Foundation (www.laylagrace.org) and over the next few weeks (and for as long as the Lord prompts her to) she'll continue to have fundraisers like this.

Thank you for stopping by my blog today and thank you in advance for shopping at Take A Bow Bowtique this week so that Lauren & Lillian can feel your love through this fundraiser.

Love ya'll,
Amanda

FUNDRAISER for Lauren & Lillian (through L.R. Beary)

Please note that there is a fundraiser going on NOW at http://www.lrbearyfundraising.com/ for Lauren & Lillian. The sweet owner, Laura, let me know that for as long as we want the fundraiser to run, it will and for each order that is placed that mentions "Lauren & Lillian" at check-out, she will donate 50% of the profits to our sweeties LouLou & Lilli Bug!! http://www.lrbearyfundraising.com/LaurenLillian.html

Thank you to everyone who has begun to follow, has read Lauren & Lillian's blog, donated, prayed, sent her an email, posted a comment or even thought good thoughts for the ladies. You will never know how grateful they truly are!

Love,
Amanda
http://www.laurenandlillian.blogspot.com/

Please pray for my friend Lauren and her tiny baby Lillian

My sweet friend and coworker Teresa Dornak recently asked me to come with her to visit her daughter, Tara's friend Lauren who had just had a baby who was suffering in the Texas Children's NICU. She thought I might be able to comfort her in some way. I was so blessed by that comment and honored to go and tried to be of what comfort I could although I'm not sure I really was during that first visit to TCH. I brought Lauren a Bible and some songs to listen to that have helped me through some hard times before. I prayed with her and Teresa but all I really wanted her to know is that she is not alone - the Lord loves her and her baby and that people are praying for her. Lillian Rachelle was born on March 22, 2010 with several conditions. She's already had one surgery to correct her diaphragmatic hernia (on April 7, 2010) but will continue to struggle with Turner Syndrome and Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum. The birth and infection / hemorrhage of Lauren's C-Section almost killed Lauren. Both Lillian and Lauren were very sick at one time. Luckily mommy Lauren is healing and able to visit her baby everyday in the Level III NICU at TCH. Lauren is trying to be strong for her baby with the support of her family, friends and God. Lillian's father is not in her life. Lauren is a college student. She's such a sweet girl, from what I've learned about her and from being around her, and all I want is the best for her and her baby.

If you can, please visit her blog at: http://laurenandlillian.blogspot.com/ and follow Lauren's and Lillian's journey. It's going to be a fight. We don't know what's in store for this precious family of two, but I hope to continue to be able to get to know them both and help them in any way I can. Please cover them in prayer and encourage Lauren with comments. She says it gets very lonely up there in the NICU sometimes. If you have any fundraising ideas or donations you'd like to make or give to Lauren and Lillian, please let me know or contact Lauren at laurenandlillian@gmail.com.

Thank you for listening, reading, praying and supporting!
Love ya'll!
Amanda

In Loving Memory of Noah Joel Hoyt {Two Years}

How has it already been 2 years since we said goodbye to our tiny baby?? So much has transpired since those horrible days of Easter week 2008, it is almost unreal! I will never forget the short time I had with my second child. The one we tried for and longed for and prayed for – for 13 long months. Noah Joel Hoyt left our presence on this earth on March 26, 2008 to join our Father in Heaven, where he now feels no pain; cries no tears. There will not be a day where he mourns the loss of his mom or dad or sister. But why are we left here to mourn the loss of the baby I couldn’t carry to term?

There are so many questions that come with losing a child and in my case - miscarriage. My friends who’ve endured this pain know what I mean. Those who surround us can testify. There’s something missing in our lives. There’s always a lingering “what if?” or “why me?” or “what really happened?”

Unfortunately, we won’t know all the answers just yet. We’ll have to wait until the day when our Lord takes us back where we really belong. Away from this earth where we’re really just passing through. Then, we may know the answers to all those questions we’ve asked ourselves or had asked of us.

Lately, the grief has come back to me full circle as if I’d lost Noah just yesterday. When I was pregnant last year and the calendar told me it was the one year anniversary of Noah’s passing, somehow, someway, the Lord granted me peace. I guess He knew I needed it after the rough year I’d had and that I needed to be happy to sustain the precious life of Madison Grace that was growing within me. I don’t know. Maybe it was because I hadn’t held a baby in such a long time to know what I was truly missing after losing Noah. But after crying during Madison’s delivery (just knowing she’d made it to me alive was so bittersweet I can’t even explain it!) and after these past 6 months of holding her tight almost 24 hours a day, I have come to realize exactly what I’ve lost. Of course, I know that a child is a child no matter how small. I’ve said it a million times. Life starts at conception. I lost Noah at 9 ½ weeks gestation and named him even though I had no idea if he was a boy or a girl. I just had a feeling that he was a boy. But after holding and loving on my sweet girl Madison, and continuing to love on my love Caitlin, I have felt the deep sadness that I knew would hit me again someday.

I never forget that he is not here. I actually think of him every single day. Each morning, if there’s time, I listen to a few songs on my MP3 player that bring me back to when I lost him. Not so that I can be stuck in a dark place but so that I can briefly remember my baby and remember what his life and loss taught me and how thankful I am that I’ve been drawn closer to my Savior over the past two years. These are private moments that no one knows about and are just between me and the Heavens. Some don’t understand how I can’t be “over it” yet. Why I haven’t “moved on” yet. Well, I probably described it above, but let me say it again…I lost a child and will never forget. It’s pretty simple but yet it’s painfully hard to describe. Yes, I’d consider that an oxymoron, but in this instance, it’s the honest truth. With the loss of a child I don’t think you ever really feel whole or “together” again. There’s always that piece of you that is absent – that ends up causing some part of your heart to not be truly in the present each minute of every day. Maybe I just need more counseling :) but this is me and how I feel.

Something else that has been causing me to remember Noah more often than not is the fact that Caitlin brings him up almost everyday. Mind you, she was not even 4 years old when he died and yet she was so sad. It made me even more sad that day when Chris told her…to have my 3 ½ year old learn about the death of a sibling so early…how traumatic is that?? Ug. I wish it weren’t so. And yet, she’s so happy when she talks about Noah now. She draws pictures of him and sings songs about him. She tells Madison about Noah. It’s so endearing. So loving. My precious Caitlin Love – she’s my sensitive one. She can also be quite silly at times, but after going through what she’s gone through with the loss of this baby, I know she’ll forever be my sensitive one. I love her for remembering our baby. I tell her that too. It’s nice to have these everyday happy reminders of our second child. Noah is Caitlin's younger brother; our second child; our son. Years ago, when Chris and I were first dating we talked about how many kids we wanted. We both said 3. I consider my family complete now. I have 3 children. One is just not with me everyday. I know that the Lord had a plan when I became pregnant the second time. Losing Noah was not a punishment for us - it was something the Lord needed me to go through in order to get closer to Him - to allow me to allow Him to hold me. If you've ever listened to the song that plays when you first get to my blog ("Held" by Natalie Grant), you'll hear the main chorus which says,

..."This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held"...

which means that the Lord will catch us and hold us when we fall or experience something traumatic. I know that He caught me and held me for a long time. He's still holding me each day as I remember my loss and suffer that pain all over again each morning. But he has renewed me. Renewed my faith. Another verse in the same song that has meant a lot to me is,

..."If hope if born of suffering"...

For some months after the loss I almost chanted this verse to myself. Hoping against hope that if losing my baby meant something else was in store for us; if God had another plan...then I was going to wait for it. I began to hope and have hope that he would send us our third child - one to love on this earth and to raise and teach and watch grow up. My prayers were answered when I found out that my sweet Madison was on her way. I praise the Lord each day knowing that He gave me a second (or third) chance to be a mommy. I love my kids and hope to raise them up to love Our Lord as much as I do.

With that, I’ll leave you with a picture that Caitlin drew of our family at Christmas (2009). Notice who is included in our family picture :)



I love my family and am so blessed to have a husband who loves me and our kids, and two healthy daughters who are precious miracles from the Lord.

Thank you, dear friends & family, for loving and supporting me through these difficult times. I am so blessed to have met so many of you after losing Noah.

Love and hugs,
Amanda

Psalm 116:7-9 (New International Version)
7 Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
8 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

Madison / Hoyt Family Updates and Pics from Weeks 19, 20, 21, 22 (She's 5 Months!!), 23, 24, 25 and 26 (She's 6 months this Thursday!!)

**I started typing this post almost 3 weeks ago and am just now publishing it! How sad is that? Although the time spent has been with our kidlets and my hubby :) **

I am so behind! Aaaahhhhhh!! And I miss you all in Blog Land!!!! I totally wish there were at least 40 hours in the day so I could check on everyone via Blogs, FB, Twitter, Email, phone and in person. I swear, there are just not enough hours in the day...

There's been alot going on in the Hoyt house lately. Just general busy-ness and other major issues, but for now, we will hit the high points of the past month (or more!) with some milestones (for both girls and our family) that we want to try to remember :)

- Madison is growing in general!! She's got to at least be 18 pounds by now. I'm breaking my back picking up that darn carseat everyday ;) We go to her pediatrician for the 6 month well visit on March 22nd.

- Madison has been eating like a little piggie! She eats at least 30 ounces of either all breastmilk or a combination of breastmilk and formula a day. She's now eating oatmeal at least 2 times per day with either sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, applesauce, prunes, peaches, green beans, bananas, or pears. She'll follow up with a water bottle chaser most evenings. She loves to teeth on that ice cold water bottle nipple!! :) LOL

- Madison is grabbing toys, dropping toys, reaching for her feet (we can't use bouncy chairs anymore!), touching faces of people holding her, trying to hold her bottles by herself and is starting to try to sit-up on her own.

- Madison can grip small toys very well and move them from one hand to the other! She has an orange egg that her Aunt Anya gave her that is perfect for this - she loves it! :)

- Madison can turn herself around in the Exercaucer now! Too cool :)

- Madison loves to hold my hand right before she falls asleep (and of course this goes along with Mommy being the human pacifier at the same time) :)

- Madison likes to hold whoever's hand is feeding her the bottle and move it up and down pretty fast. It's like she's pulling the handle on the milk machine over and over or something!! LOL

- Madison cut her first tooth on February 16th. It's a bottom front tooth. The tooth officially broke ground at about 11pm (she let out a different cry so I checked and sure enough there was a little pointy thing there!) She didn't really stop crying until about 2am. Not sure why - I put Orajel on her gums and gave her Tylenol but she kept on going. I'm not sure Tylenol works on this girl. It has always worked for Cait but I have a feeling that Madi is a Motrin kind of person. We can't try Motrin until she's 6 months so we'll see.

- The week before the first tooth came through, Madison projectile vomited. It was not spit-up (I was informed). I was not there. It happened when Chris picked her up from Big Mamma's. I think it had to do with teething because she was not sick before or after that in any way.

- Madison likes to look in the mirror. Hmmm, this sounds familiar. Cait could look in the mirror for hours (these days and back in the day!!) :)

- Madison loves to look at her daddy (he thinks because she probably thinks she's looking into a mirror since they look so much alike :)). She smiles usually upon eye contact.

- Madison reacts to me like someone who has not eaten in days. She makes a fast panicky fussy crying noise and kind of leans towards me until I pick her up. She always smiles with me and sometimes when I pick her up she will just laugh over and over even if I'm not tickling her.

- Madison is really babbling alot these days and she has already said her first word! She started babbling "MaMa" on Sunday, February 14th. I was not sure if I should count that since it was "MaMa" over and over again, but when Caitlin noticed it and a few others who I told about it said that the babbling counted...I officially called it - she said MaMa on Valentine's Day!!!!!!

- Madison is a night owl! She will have barely slept all day and she'll want to stay up until midnight talking!! I have to wake up to get ready for work at 4:20 on weekdays so I don't have the time or energy to stay up until midnight!! I sometimes can put her in the beanbag chair in front of the TV while I try to rest until she's ready to sleep. (She's still in bed with us, obviously...) *Since this was typed previously, Madison has not had many nights like this. For the past 2 weeks or so, she's been sleeping through the night as long as she's in bed with us and using her human pacifier. I'm not going to lie. I am going to have a hard time moving her to the crib - it will be hard on Madison and Mommy! :( But I know that we both need to be in our separate beds. I'm hoping I can move her once she's 6 months. That's in a few days!!!

- Madison lifts her right eyebrow at you when she's really happy or interested in you!

- Madison cut her 2nd tooth on March 1st and had no problem. Just a little fussyness. The same day she said her 2nd word - "Da Da!" So precious!!

- After Madison eats, if one of us talks to her, she will most certainly lose her lunch. She gets so excited (especially if Daddy talks to her!) that she spits up.

- Caitlin got strep throat on February 18th and we spent 2 days home from school. When I typed this post previously, we were still taking the 10 day pink refrigerated antibiotic that she just LOVES (not!) and trying our best not to get sick ourselves and trying even harder not to get Madi sick! Knock on wood, I'd like to keep her healthy for a few more months :) *Madison has not gotten sick yet (knocking...)*

- Caitlin and I got to spend some quality time together on President's day. We went to an art shop for kids and painted pottery. It was fun to see how excited she got to spend one on one time with me. Like old times. Caitlin is slowly returning to her "old self" and bringing back her smile. She'd kind of gone to a "different place" since Madison's arrival and she's starting to get comfortable with her now. They are going to have a great bond. Caitlin LOVES Madison. She just needed to get the hang of how things were going to flow with the new baby in the house. I think she gets it now. We are going to have time to devote to both. :)

- Caitlin had her first field day last week at school and did very well in the sack races!!

- Caitlin just got her ears pierced yesterday - it was both fun and scary watching my little girl grow up right before my eyes! But she looks gorgeous with her little pink ice studs in her little earlobes!!

- Chris's neck is getting worse. He did PT, drinks a special drink, does special exercises at home, sleeps and sits with special pillows, sits with a special massage chair cover...and it still clicks and hurts all the time. He needs your prayers. It's bone on bone. My husband is too young to not be able to play with the kids when he wants to. He got an MRI almost 3 weeks ago and we waited for 2 weeks for the doctor to call with the results. Finally I called up there to find out what the deal was. They had forgotten (of course!) and called him and basically told him that his neck is really bad but not bad enough for surgery and to keep doing his home exercises!! OMG - so they basically dropped him! After we paid them tons of money (out of network :() and trusted them to give us an answer we were dumped! So now we have to find a second opinion doc and get the films and do all that mess. All the while, Chris can't even sleep the pain is so bad! Please pray.

- Chris's company is being bought out. We have no idea how this will affect his job. We think he may have to start working different hours soon. He's had to work late a few days recently and that may continue. This will affect my schedule as well. Please pray that we will figure out how to deal with all the changes and that his job is safe.

- This has been super hard to deal with over the past few weeks. Our Big Mamma is just not feeling well. Her arthritis and diabetes are causing her great pain. She just cannot watch Madision anymore. We found a new sitter but it has been hard. Please pray that the new sitter would love Madison like Big Mamma did and that Madison would learn, grow and have fun at the new place. It is a family home where the mom stays home with her 3 kids. The kids range from Kindergarten to 4 yrs old to 7 months old. Big Mamma watched Caitlin since she was 8 months old, but just does not have the energy anymore to keep Madison. We also didn't want her to over exert herself. She still watches Cait before and after school. Please pray for Big Mamma to feel better. She is having surgery for bleeding behind her eyes (which was one of the reasons she had to stop keeping Madison - could not lift heavy things) on March 23. Please pray that the bleeding would stop and that she would get better and that there would be no blindness.

- Madison's new babysitter's husband is out of work. He got laid off the Friday before she started sitting for Madison, so the sitting job was most likely a God thing. But, this week he is in Dallas on interviews. If he was to get a job there, the family would have to move. If that were to happen, we'd have to find a new sitter on short notice again. This is always weighing heavily on my mind. Please pray that whatever happens, we would not be left without a good sitter for our baby. Please also pray for this young family as the husband looks for a new job.

Thank you if you made it all the way through that post! Thank you also for your prayers.

Love always,
Amanda

And here are the many (100 to be exact) photos (I could not choose a small number (if you know me you already know this :)) from the past 8 weeks!!