This post has been a long time coming and I’m so excited to finally be writing it!
We found out on January 15, 18 and 20th that the Lord has blessed us with another miracle baby (yep, I took 3 home tests because I really could not believe it!).
We decided to keep this news our secret (just Chris and I) until 11 or 12 weeks – just in case. After going through the heartbreaking loss of Noah last March, we not only couldn’t tell Caitlin “too early” (she took Noah’s passing almost as hard as I did) but we didn’t want to get anyone too excited too early – this time. We were “cautiously optimistic” and if you ask either one of us today how we feel, we both would probably tell you the same answer. We are super excited to have been called to be parents to this little miracle growing inside of me, but we have been through early pregnancy loss before and it was (and is) devastatingly painful. We have trust in our Lord that he will bring us through this pregnancy and that we will have a live and healthy baby on or around September 26th but we also trust that what is God’s will, is God’s will.
When I posted my Still Here post a few weeks ago, we were going through some very hard times with this pregnancy. Not only have I had “morning, noon and night sickness” since conception, we have had some major scares. My blogging sort of stopped as we were dealing with what might be happening and I felt bad about leaving you all for so long. I still prayed for ya’ll and still emailed some of you in the meantime, but just getting online sometimes was not only physically but emotionally painful.
At 7 weeks we had our first ultrasound (my doctor’s office does the first one at that stage). Everything was great. Baby was measuring 2 days ahead (and still has continuously measured as such since then) and had a heart rate of 132 bpm. We were overjoyed to hear that heartbeat and see the baby.
Then, when I was 7w2d, I began to bleed. We were sure that it was the end for this little one. The ultrasound showed differently and we were able to see baby alive and well again on ultrasound. The heart rate was 147 bpm. We really couldn’t even believe what was happening…why was I bleeding but the baby was still ok? We just had to trust that things were going to be ok. The doctor put me on bedrest for a week. By this time, we knew we had to let a few people in on our news so that we could get the help we needed. My boss is amazing and I was able to work from bed on my laptop when I felt up to it. He didn’t expect me to come back until I was ready. He just wanted me to get the rest I needed to protect our baby. My mom came over each day and got Caitlin ready for school and would drop her off and come back and do all my cooking, cleaning and organizing. She is really an amazing mom and I couldn’t ask for more. Miraculously she retired from teaching (after 25+ years) only 4 short weeks before this happened. She has been so available to us through all of this and we are so appreciative of her willingness and ability to help us. During those 8 days in bed Caitlin never asked why I was sick. When I told her that I didn’t feel good she never pressed for a reason why (if you know Caitlin, she has to know the why to everything!).
The morning I was going to return to work (8w3d) I fainted in the shower and literally fell out of it (through the door and onto the floor!) I have no idea how my lower leg braced my fall and I didn’t hit my head or anything else, but I woke up after I fell and Chris came running in and helped me to bed. I think a combination of being in bed for a week and then getting up that morning like “normal” at 4:40 am and just “hopping” in the (hot) shower did me in. My mom took me to an ER place that early afternoon (long story but my doctor’s office would not see me because I had experienced “trauma”)…the ER place was very nice and they checked me out and had an ultrasound tech come out to check the baby. Baby was still good with a heart rate of 164 bmp. This time, though, she found something. A tear in the placenta. Of course, I was scared. No wonder I was bleeding/spotting still…the facility advised that I could return to work that week and to follow up with my OB. I had an appointment already scheduled for a few days from then.
At 8w6d I had another ultrasound at my OB’s office. They confirmed the tear and my doctor assured me that it would reabsorb and all would be ok within a few weeks. I had trouble understanding this but knew I had to trust that all would be ok.
Yesterday I had my follow-up appointment at 10w6d. The baby was huge compared to 2 weeks ago and I could see the legs, arms, umbilical cord and profile of the entire body (including the face!) His or her little arms and legs were flailing around and the legs were kicking a lot! It was so amazing to see God’s creation moving around inside of me!! The heart rate was 155 bpm and everything looked good – including the fact that (PRAISE GOD!) the placenta tear is gone!!!!!!!!!!! We are so excited by this news. Finally, I can rest and know that things ARE going to be ok.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers during the last several weeks. I could feel them and knew that we were covered in prayer. As we know, PRAYER CHANGES EVERYTHING, and in these circumstances we’ve found ourselves in since February 9th, we’ve done a lot of praying.
We did end up telling Caitlin about the baby last weekend and she is excited. She hasn’t talked much about it or asked us many questions, but when we talk about it she just lights up! The night we told her, we were still eating dinner. After that, she went to the bathroom to wash her hands and we could hear her singing a little song to herself about a baby. It was sooo cute!
Thank you, Lord, for your blessings.
Hello, in there, to our Bundle of Joy :) You must be a strong little fighter to have stayed with us this long and we cherish each day with you. Thank you for picking us to be your parents – we can’t wait to hold you in 29 weeks. We love you!!
Thank you to Chris and Caitlin, for putting up with me while I'm sick and just want to lay in bed.
Friends and Family, we hope you’ll stick around to watch our family grow once again.
Love,
Amanda
Katherine (Bride's daughter) and Caitlin
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