First Day of School - August 22, 2011

Hey Ya'll,

It seems I never blog anymore...start a blog and then end up deleting it because I don't have time to finish it or just don't like how it sounds. I'm too critical of myself, that is true. I should just write with no inhibitions as I have done in the past. Oh well, hopefully I can write more as Madison gets less clingy older :)

Today's blog is important to me because today is a "big" day for my family.

Today, we are exactly one month from closing on our new house, Caitlin starts 2nd grade at a new school (the one zoned for our new house) and Madison starts Montessori for the first time (at age 23.5 months). Madison has always been cared for by someone in-home. Since we are moving across the freeway from our old home and our old babysitters, we needed a place that is near our new home (more convenient) and also it just seems like a good time to get her into "school." Cait went to Montessori at age 4 (right before kindergarten) and learned SO much that we knew we'd put Madison in school before age 4.

This morning, Caitlin had no problem getting up and dressed (this summer was like pulling teeth to get her to wake-up and get out the door (just in PJs)! LOL
She got her new backpack and filled it with her new lunch bag that I packed for her this morning and came downstairs to help me with Madison. I had given her a piece of paper with her teacher's names (she has three!) and the order she will go to them. She has her homeroom teacher (goes to first to drop things off), her reading/history teacher she goes to second, her math teacher she goes to third and then she goes back to her homeroom where she has language arts and science. After looking at the paper for a few minutes she came into my room to tell me that she knew where she was going and when! She had already memorized it and her new lunch number! She seemed confident and polished LOL When we pulled up to the new school where the drop-off is for the before school program, I mentioned that there were alot of kids in the program (could see thru the window)...she proclaimed, "oh then I will make lots of friends!" I'm so glad she is excited...I hoped she would be - instead of scared of going to a new place :)

Madison's drop-off was kind of weird just because she had no idea what was going on. I tried telling her all weekend about it, but I'm sure she just thought I was talking about playing toys with friends LOL We checked-in and I settled her in at the teeny tiny breakfast table in her teeny tiny chair and gave her the fruit loops she had pointed at when given the choice between those, Cheerios and raisin bran (duh! LOL). She just sat there looking bewildered. I hugged and kissed all over her but she didn't try to cling...just sat stoically :( This is completely out of character for her...she's usually clinging the second we see something or something she doesn't know. I'm hoping that's a good sign! There are 12 other new kids starting at the Montessori today! I'm hoping that because there are so many they will go extra slow with her today. I was sort of concerned that they would know who each kid is...she had no name tag on when I left so I asked if they will give them name tags. The lady said no, that the teachers have lists of everyone and who is new, etc. I was like, "is there a picture on the list for each kid?!?!" (really, I didn't ask that...but of course wish I had) I am hoping that they don't lose her LOL
No really, this school came highly recommended so I'm going to trust...Yes, I'm going to trust, and keep the Faith, that all will be ok.

I will let you all know how it goes when I get home to hear about it tonight. Chris does the pick-ups :)

Please pray for us and the kids today as we muddle through this new Monday.

Love ya'll!

Oh and P.S. to top off the Monday morning of the first day of school, one of my tires had a bolt in it (I saw it while dropping Cait off). Luckily we had no trouble getting Madison to school! I drove it to a tire place and had to get new tires (they were bald too!). So, this morning has been quite eventful LOL

Miracles & Happiness

Today is brought to you by the letters M and H (guess I've been watching too many episodes of Sesame Street?!?!? LOL)

Miracles happen daily, all around us. You just have to look and believe. I have witnessed miracles occur in my friend Teresa's life - she has finished her surgery and is now home recuperating from a double mastectomy and part of her reconstruction surgery. The pathologist officially declared her cancer free and now she can begin her new (normal) life. She has trusted in God to heal her and it happened. The Faith she has in God along with His love for her have healed her.

Happiness is what I feel when I think about the outcome of Teresa's diagnosis. On January 24, 2011, her diagnosis of Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma, seemed devastating. Yes, the treatments, daily life and her ultimate surgery, were painful, scary, faith testing, and life-changing, but through all of her (and our) prayers, love, and the belief that our All Powerful Lord and Savior would heal her, she has come out on the other side as a SURVIVOR of breast cancer.

I want to take a minute to truly thank the Lord for what He has done in Teresa's life, her husband's life, her children's lives, her friends' and acquaintances' lives. For He has turned a hopeless diagnosis into a hopeful future - one with more time for family and friends, more time to watch her grand baby grow, more time to travel, more time to stop and smell the roses and more time to give Praise to Him. Thank you, Father.

Please continue to pray for Teresa and her family as she heals from her major surgery done on July 11th. Her next surgery (the other half of the reconstruction) will be in November.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/teresamessinadornak

Thank you so much!
Amanda

Encouraging Quote to Share

I saw the most encouraging post on FaceBook just now...I just have to share. Maybe it will help one of you through a tough day.

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” -Dr. Suess

I'm so thankful for the organization Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. They do wonderful things for the babyloss community and share stories of loss - so that others don't feel so alone, and so that the taboo subject of loss can become less taboo...

I hope you all are having a good day. If not, love, hugs and prayers to you.
Amanda

Teresa's surgery is over and there is WONDERFUL news to report!

Hi Family & Friends!

Thank you so much for praying over Teresa, her family & her doctors!

I am completely excited to share with you that Teresa Messina Dornak's surgery is over and there was AMAZING news during the first part of the surgery. THERE IS NO CANCER IN TERESA'S LYMPH NODES!

Praise the Good Lord! He always shows up - this time He blessed us with the news we'd hoped for :)

Now is the recovery period that will last a LONG time. She will be in the hospital until Friday and we are praying for continued blood flow into her new breasts.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers!

Please check her CaringBridge for updates :)

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/teresamessinadornak

Love,
Amanda

This is a picture of Teresa's grandbaby, Brynleigh, who was her Mia's biggest little supporter on Monday; sporting the shirt her mama, Tara, made for her that says "Find a Cure Before I Grow Boobies!"

Please pray for Teresa - Her 15+ hour surgery is tomorrow!

Hi Sweet Friends and Family:

I know I haven't blogged in forever & a day, but this post and prayer request could be one of the most important ones ever.

If your knees have not hit the floor yet to storm heaven on my Sweet T's behalf, please do so now. My friend, Teresa Messina Dornak, will be going in tomorrow at 6 for pre-op and will begin her 15+ hour surgery at 8 to rid herself of the horrible monster, breast cancer, that she found out about on Jan. 24, 2011. Double mastectomy, removal of any lymph nodes with cancer (please pray there are ZERO) and then reconstruction will leave her in ICU/recovery until Friday! Please pray for the doctors/surgeons/nurses/anestheolsist/pathologist and anyone I'm forgetting - that care for T. That they would be filled with love and the Holy Spirt, guiding their hands to care for and treat her.

Thank you so much for your desire to follow T on her journey past this monster and on to her new life. Please check her CaringBridge for updates after tomorrow.

LOVE!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/teresamessinadornak

Hoyt Family HOUSE News!

If you follow me on FaceBook, you've already heard The Hoyt Family News:)

We sold our (first/starter house) in 15 days! Closed on it Wednesday, May 25! We are SO excited to be blessed to sell quickly and move on with our plans to upsize :) We are now living in an apartment while we wait for our new house to be built! Did I say we are excited?!?!?!?

The pics below are of our house while it was on the market. We are so proud of what we accomplished to be able to sell it in this market :)

In order to get the house "show ready," we did the following:

1) We decluttered for about 3 months! I kid you not! 8 years, 2 kids, a dog and a cat later...we had way too much STUFF! We put alot in storage that we can use at the new house but we also gave alot away to friends and to goodwill. Trash was full too :) LOL

‎2) We kept that house clean and show ready for 15 days (and would have done the same for 5 months if we had to). Every morning I followed a list (vacuum, trash out, blah blah blah) and I guess it worked :)

3) We prayed daily :)

‎4) It was our new years resolution to do this. We actually had plans to get it ready for show in early 2008 (because we knew we needed more room before the baby)...then we lost the baby and plans were (obviously) put on hold :( Jan. 1, 2011, we decided it was OUR time :)

A BIG HUGE GIGANTIC thank you to my hubby, Chris!! You did so much to get us to where we are today in this house selling business! I LOVE YOU!

One more tiny (lol) thing...they paid asking price!!

May 28 ~ Caitlin's 7th Birthday!

We are not sure how it happened so fast, but our baby turned SEVEN years old on Saturday!

So far Cait has celebrated for a few days in a row - Wednesday was her birthday celebration with MeMe & Grandpa, Saturday she went to the pool, ate lunch at a new burger joint down the road & Dad took her and her friend Addy (and Uncle Mike) to an Astros game where she got junk food and Astros goodies. Yesterday, she went to the pool and her Grammy took her out shopping for clothes and books (which I'm happy to say are her new past time (besides swimming of course!) :) Today I'm sure she'll go to the pool and maybe some other fun thing since we are off from work and school :)
Hopefully sometime in June she can invite a few friends for a mani/pedi, lunch and a movie.

We can't even believe how fast she's grown in such a short period...we remember her birth like it was yesterday...how did we become parents to a SEVEN year old already?? Wow...I will never forget 11:17 am, the day I became a mom for the first time :)

Happy birthday, Caitlin Love! You are our "Sweet Pea" and "Boo" and we are so proud of you!!! Love u!!!

~Memorial Day~

Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for those who have died in service to our country. My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones that passed in the line of duty. Thank you. Thank you, dear soldiers, for dying for my freedom. You are truly missed and should be honored every day of the year.

Helllloooooooo!

Hey ya'll!

I know it's been like 12 million years since my last post. I hate being a "sometimes" blogger. Wish I had more time to devote, but life with two kids has gotten me busier and busier as the days go by :)

Anyway, just wanted to update the blog with some pictures from April and May. We are gearing up for summer - an exciting one for The Hoyt Family - details to come :) (and no, we're not expecting - although that would be exciting too! LOL)

Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Love,
Amanda

Three Years

I'm not really sure how to start this post, what exactly I should say or how long it should be. I do know that today is 3 years since we said goodbye to our 2nd baby - one that we never got to meet (beyond the ultrasound screen) and left my womb too early.

I remember all the details of that day and pretty much every emotion that I felt. For those who have never miscarried or lost a baby or child and/or been close to someone who has, the emotions that we feel are overwhelming and never ending. I know that immediately upon hearing from both the U/S tech and my OB, "your baby is not alive anymore," the emotions ran wild throughout my entire body: sadness, fear, pain, guilt, shock, anger, loneliness, worthlessness, depressed, stoic, haunted, sick...the list could go on and on.

One thing about acknowledging a child's passing on a particular anniversary, whether it be their birthday and/or heaven day, is okay but remembering on one day is not completely what we need. If we could, we would ask others to acknowledge our babies everyday. The one thing about losing any loved one is that the shearing pain might go away after time, but the thoughts of and longing for that person NEVER end. Day after day, whether we want to or not, that baby is NOT forgotten.

No matter how much time has passed; no matter that my husband still loves me and I have other children, I still feel sad sometimes. I have my good and bad days. I have those days where I wish I could curl up and cry just one more time about my loss. There are days when I'm completely over the moon that the Lord has allowed me to raise two beautiful girls on this earth. BUT, I still wish I was able to have just that one other chance...

To end this post that I didn't know what to say or how long it should be, I will say this:
When we are surrounded by those who know what we are going through because they have been through it themselves or by those who just love us and want us to know they remember, we feel okay about missing our babies. It's not as taboo as we think it is. We want LIFE to be sacred and missed and loved and cherished (as God intended)...whether that baby was here for 9 1/2 weeks gestation or 39 weeks gestation or 5 years or 25 years.

Because I apply music to most of my life experiences, one of the songs that I thought of today that best describes the way that I feel is "Not a Day Goes By" by Lonestar.

Got a memory of you I carry in my soul
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

Thank you to all of you who have visited me, thought of me and prayed for me over these past 3 years. Your love will never be forgotten. The friendships I have made since March 26, 2008 are priceless. Unfortunately I became part of a club I never wanted to be in on that day. This club of Baby Loss Mommas is too large. The whys go round and round. Why does there have to be such a club?!?!? Why did our babies leave us? We will never really know, will we? Well, we will know actually...when we get to Heaven, are reunited with our babies and ask Jesus.
That will be a glorious day, Noah Joel Hoyt. I can't wait :)

In loving memory of our tiny angel baby, Noah.
Heaven Date: March 26, 2008.
Lost but not forgotten.

Thank you to my God. The one source of strength that will never let me down or leave me. Thank you for bringing me to and through my loss.
Thank you for all 3 of my miracle babies.


Thank you, Franchesca!


Thank you, Carly!



Thank you, Caitlin, my Love!


Miss you and Love you, NJ Hoyt!

Happy First Birthday, Lillian Rachelle!

Can ya'll even believe that Lillian is ONE!??!?! Thank you for your prayers for Lillian and Lauren over the past year!

Dear Lillian (aka Lilli Bug, Lilli and Nugget),

You are such a miracle from Heaven! You have survived more trials in your short life than most of us ever will. You are a fighter and have made many believers of miracles out of your life story. Seeing you grow up has been awesome! Thank you (and your mommy) for allowing me to know you. I know this year will be easier than the last and weight will be put on and more milestones will be passed! The Lord is helping you and your mommy through this each and every day!

Happy birthday sweet girl! You are an amazing source of strength to others!

Love,
Amanda

P.S. Mommy - you are such a fighter too! You have made the best out of the life which was planned for you long before your time. All of your struggles will seem trivial to seeing your precious baby girl grow. Know that you have a wonderful support system and many prayer warriors on your side. Most of us may be in the "cyber world" or wherever, but we all root for you two everyday! Happy 1st mommy day to you!!

Lillian on her FIRST birthday - March 22, 2011

Lillian's FIRST day - March 22, 2010